Juliette Ruth joined our family this past weekend. And here I sit before you, a few days after, thankful to bring you her beautiful story. Just days before her arrival, friends of ours lost their newborn. My heart wept for them, even throughout my birth, knowing how empty my arms and womb would feel after such an experience.
It's with great thankfulness that I get to introduce Juliette to you – a happy, healthy, and beautiful child of God.
As many of you know, we were planning and preparing for a high-risk VBAC for the arrival of our fourth little one (I'm sorry… but how do we have four children?!). Just hours before the contractions began, I stood in the shower, crying (because that's what I do when I'm super pregnant, yo), and praying to God.
God, let me be at peace with what you have for us. If it's a VBAC, great. If it's a cesarian, please put my mind at ease about that. Let me feel at peace with whatever it is and whatever it looks like.
God, please, oh please, oh pleasssssse, let me go into labor tonight. I'm desperate. I'm at the end of myself. I can't do it anymore! If it's all the same to you, I'd really, really, reallllly like to get this baby out already!
But, ya know, your will be done and all that jazz.
Not 15 minutes later, my contractions began – slow, steady, painless. They continued on this way for a few more hours while I tried my best to distract my exhausted mind with the newest season of an Anthony Bourdain travel show. It was late a night. Everyone was asleep but me and the little soul inside my belly. I woke Stu up to go out with me and feed the little lambs, steadily pacing up the driveway and squatting down by Rosie to hold her while the lambs drank – keenly aware of each movement… each pain… each wave of tightness. When the contractions faded off, I prayed (once again) that they would continue.
I was ready to meet my little one. And finally, finally, my body seemed to be obliging.
Another few minutes of steady contractions lead me to call my parents, who quickly came over to sleep with the other three munchkins while we headed into the hospital. We were under strict orders to not labor at home so they could closely monitor baby. I kissed Will goodnight quickly before we left – nuzzled in his fleece blanket with his favorite ‘Little Blue Truck‘ book tucked up under his arm. I almost died of happiness and sadness at the same time saying goodbye to him that night. He's still so little.
The drive into the hospital was calm – the sky was dark, almost no cars on the road. Stu drove slow. We rolled down our windows and breathed deep. We talked about how much we hated the songs on the radio. The contractions were still pretty painless and I was enjoying feeling the final movements of baby – knowing this is (pending unforseen Providential circumstances) going to be our last little one.
After checking in, the nurse encouraged us to go for an hour long walk to see if we couldn't get things moving. If things aren't moving, you get sent home, man. And there was no way I was going to enter back into my home without a fresh baby in my arms. The last few weeks of pregnancy had been miserable and I wasn't about to submit to more of that.
So walk I did.
Stu and I looped our arms together, like teenagers, and we walked. We went outside and paced the dark streets. I waddled around like gigantic whale, flopping back and forth with each fast step. I practically did squats up the stairs and kept going up and down the same hill. For weeks, I've avoided such physical activity – not because I couldn't do it, but because it hurt to do it! Vaginal pressure is a real thing, man. But God gave me courage and the beautiful gift of adrenaline – my body welcomed the pain of it all. The more it hurt, the better it felt. And the pain came. In big waves, the contractions began to grasp at my being. I began to lean on Stu. To moan. By the end of the designated time, I was in the grasp of labor and that train wasn't stopping.
By the time we got back to our room, ‘active labor' was determined, and I melted into the pain. I stood at the back counter of the hospital room, bent over with my head on my folded arms, hips dancing side to side, consumed. I'd never been allowed to labor long before the epidural for my cesarian sections and even my previous VBAC was forced with a bundle of interventions and unique circumstances. This time, I stood in an almost empty hospital room, with only my husband by my side, experiencing those horrible and beautiful pains that are beyond anything words can describe. The hospital staff were but a few shadows in the backdrop – never asking me to even change out of my pajamas. They let me labor. They let me moan. They let me cry out to God. They let me be.
When it was time for the IV, they asked me to go sit on the bed. I threw out my arm from under my head and shouted “Do it here!”. And they did.
I agreed with my Doctor to do an epidural so that we could be prepped for a cesarian because we were at high-risk for such to occur. When it was time, I was in a different world. Stuart says I was saying things I can't even slightly remember.
I do remember a few places my mind went in the pain.
I went to the color purple. Why? I have no idea. But I kept thinking of purple.
I went to my baby's nursery where I kept seeing Will's smiling face reading “Little Blue Truck”. When I thought of Will, I felt so much joy, I could physically feel my cervix relax.
I went to my husband, who was holding me. Comforting me. Calming me. Loving me. The only person in the entire world I wanted to touch or to touch me – I craved him and buried my head into his chest.
In just over an hour, we had progressed to 9 cm. It came and moved through me like a freight train.
By the time the anesthesiologist left, I was praying that it would kick in before it was time to push the baby out. Because I could already feel the splitting pressure surging. The nurse dimmed the lights and left the room – Stu and I lay in the bed together and prayed. Boy, did we pray. We calmed down for a few minutes before our lives were, for the fourth time, changed forever. Moments before we welcomed a new soul into our world – a soul that we didn't know yet, and yet, we knew so well.
Just a few minutes later when the Doctor arrived and after (literally) 8 seconds of pushing, Juliette entered the world. Stuart announced to me it was a girl and I wept. She was beautiful. And she was screaming. (Also, there are but a few blurry photos from the hospital. That's what happens when the photographer is the one having the baby and her photography assistant is the doula/husband).
As she lay on my chest, I began to whisper in her ear. And she calmed down. This girl – she knew me.
She continues to surprise me, as she reacts so strongly to my voice. She feels like a bond – a soul sister – that I didn't even know was missing. But now, my other girl is here. Another piece of my being wandering free in the world.
And by ‘wandering free', I mean she's never allowed to leave my side. Ever. Because I love her desperately.
Gratitude overflows from my Mama heart. Not only is Juliette here healthy, nursing like a rockstar, and cute as a bug, but she arrived via the most calm and beautiful VBAC we could have ever hoped for. On top of that, upon delivery of the placenta, we found out that Juliette's umbilical cord had a perfect knot tied in it. The nurse hugged me and told me to consider my baby a miracle – they often seen babies die from such. There is truly, so much to be thankful for. Before we had children, I wept, wondering if my condition would keep us from ever being able to do so. And here we stand, in the absolute madness of four children five and under, and I can feel is complete thankfulness.
And soreness. There's a bit of that too.
Pam Azevedo
What a beautiful sharing of the birth of Juliette! You have a gift, Thanks for sharing this beautiful story! God bless all 6 of you as you introduce the rest of the children and farm animals to your newest addition!!
Camille Stidham
Oh yay! I’m so glad you were able to have the labor you were hoping for. Congrats on another little one, enjoy the madness of your life with four close in age children. Just don’t ever stop writing about it!
Leslie
Dear Shaye, I agree with Pam . . . what a beautiful telling of this miracle. Your words made me cry with joy.
Blessings on all your sweet heads.
Angela
Welcome to this wonderful ride, Juliette Ruth! Another abundant blessing, and most perfect housewarming gift. ????
Hazel
Congratulations!
And Juliette was born on my birthday :))
Karen
And on my birthday!
Kim
Beautiful Shaye, one of the most beautiful stories I’ve ever read. Sending prayers for your soreness.
Congratulations!
Melissa Jones
I love you so much. And I am so happy for you. Tears of joy over here:)
Dawn
You took me back, and I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes. I was once the mama of four kids under the age of five. The sixteen years since then melted away as I read your words. I love my grown up kids, and every stage we’ve been through, but those days when they are young, holding those sweet new babies in your arms, they are priceless treasures in life. Priceless.
Cathy
Such a happy way to start my day! Thank you dear mama, for taking the time and energy to write her birth story and to share it with us. May you always find peace in the chaos. xo
Quinn
The story of her birth is just as beautiful as she is and I know will be such an inspiration to other VBAC’ing mama’s out there! Congratulations Shaye! Welcome to the covenant family little Juliette- may you be the mother of thousands of millions and may God would use you for His glory and to advance His kingdom!
Patrica
That’s wonderful! Congratulations!
Keri Pritch
Congratulations on your new sweet heart and your beautiful VBAC!! How strong and empowering!! God bless!
Suzanne
Congratulations on your new blessing. Such a pretty name. I have a Lydia Ruth, also a miracle baby:-)
Nancy Mosley
Congratulations – she is a beautiful blessing from the Lord!
Amanda
Beautiful, just beautiful.
Monika
I had my VBAC on 4/2, also 🙂 Congrats mama!
Miley
Shaye – you are such a unique and wonderful blogger! Thank you so much for sharing your life and family with us! And Miss Juliette is such a blessing!! Congratulations to you and your wonderful family! God Bless you all!!!!
julie
Welcome Juliette . . . God bless.
Melissa
Hallelujah!!!!!!
Lacy
So happy for you & your bundle of joy! She is precious & I’m happy to see yall are doing well.
Bevin
Congratulations! God is so good!!! Juliette is beautiful. My fourth child, Levi, is my miracle baby as well. Blessings to you and your family.
Beth
Congratulations!!! What a beautiful little girl. Just goes to show that God is always there for us, giving us what we need at the right time, even if we get a little impatient sometimes.
Dania
What a beautiful birth! Thank you for sharing!
Janet Hurley
She’s beautiful! I wondered where you had been, but thought the baby wasn’t due for a few more weeks.
I’m so glad all went smoothly!
Ember
Beautiful birth! I love VBAC stories. She’s beautiful and I can SEE your bond and happiness!
I’ve had seven c-sections! I would have loved to VBAC but it just wasn’t my experience. I’m just so grateful my body has allowed me to safely have so many cesareans (with doctor approval to have more). Bodies are just such amazing things-truly a gift from a loving God as are these precious little ones! Prayers for your sweet family. Thanks for sharing your life. I’m living vicariously right now through it because we are currently city dwellers. Anxious to get back on land again, hopefully soon!
Lisa @ Farmhouse on Boone
Congrats!! Beautiful story! I have had 2 babies with a “true knot” in the cord. It can be very serious so I feel blessed 🙂
Peacock Orchard
CONGRATULATIONS!
Also, was it Layovers? It’s on Netflix now and I’m already cooking weird food we have seen.
catherine
A beautiful memory to share, thank you. I am so happy for you and your lovely family.
Robin
Hello beautiful, strong, lovely Juliette. Welcome to this crazy world and all it has waiting for you.
And now I’m off to find a box of tissues. Beautiful. Powerfully, simply beautiful.
Alyson
Congratulations on that beautiful baby!!! I don’t ever comment but that is one dang cute baby! I’m so happy for y’alls family. What a blessing! I also have a Ruth 🙂 We call her Aly-Ruth.
Alisha
Congratulations! I wish you lots of strength as you raise another little soul for the Lord!
Denise Watson
Congratulations!!!!! Wow, my boys are 29,26,15 and reading your story brought back a few memories!! Thank you for that!! Your little “soul sister” is so precious!!!!! Enjoy every minute even the ones you never think you will survive, because you will and you will wonder where all the dang time went!!! Well done my dear!!????????☺️
Essential Homestead
That’s beautiful. I’m a crying mess. I tried desperately for a VBAC with my second. Circumstances didn’t allow it. I’m glad things worked out for you. I can relate.
Lauren
Congratulations from a fellow VBAC mama! Tears stream down my face now because I know what that’s like and the joy that comes afterward.
Kristy
So exquisitely beautiful!! Also, after seeing a picture of you having freshly birthed a baby it is conclusive that you are (unfairly!) gorgeous all. of. the. time!!! Congratulations to all of you!! I pray for God’s blessings, peace, and healing to be poured over you. She is perfect!!
Elaine Sarchet
Beautiful post – thanks for sharing such an emotional time.
Janelle
Hi Shaye, congratulations to you and your family! Juliette’s birth story is inspiring, beautiful and MIRACULOUS! The part about the knot in the cord – I lost a pregnancy last year and you really never know what God has in store for you. Bless that little baby and her safe arrival. She must be here for a big reason! 😉 I am 27 weeks pregnant right now and trying everything I can think of to prepare for a VBAC after 2 c-sections. If you could share any advice on how to prepare for a VBAC, if there is anything, I would really love to read it!
Blessings to you, I hope the first few weeks are smooth sailing!
Lisa
Congratulations on your beautiful bundle of joy. Great story she carries with her. God bless.
Allison
What a beautiful birth story! I finally after 10 years finally recently wrote the birth stories of all five of my children. While the details weren’t there completely for the oldest kids, it’s amazing how much the birth of your children stays with you for many years and how much you actually remember. Welcome to the world, Juliette!
Victoria
Beautiful!!!! That story took me back! Thank you and to Him who freely gives the joys of our souls! So thankful I have my babies too!
Suan
I had 5 kids under 5. They are grown up with babys of their own now. You are going to be one busy mother hen. But they all are so close to each other even now. It made a tight family and I love that. If you mess with one you have to deal with them all. The other thing we did was homeschool them, raise them on a little farm and made them or world. It makes a big difference, they are my happiness. Congratulations on your family. Enjoy them! They are so special.
Karen
A blessing to be sure!! Prayers to you all, a beautiful family!
Lizzy
Thank you for sharing this wonderful news with us. Juliette is beautiful and perfect in every way. A beautiful example of the glory of God and His crown of Creation! You are all in my prayers!
Thank you for this meaningful post, and sharing your joy!
Lizzu
Sheri
Congratulations! Juliette was born on my birthday! My parents expected me on April 1st (April Fools Day) but I fooled them! Then they called me a “Left-over-fool”! They got the last laugh!
Blessings!