When I’m Done Performing for the World…
Here's what I'll do and eat.
Lights… no camera… no action.
I sometimes think about what my life would look like without cameras — without any online presence at all.
Who would I be without the documentation of it all?
I pose the question, but I think I know the answer.
If you met me in person, you may realize that maybe I’m a bit taller than you thought. Perhaps you’d take notice of the fine lines beginning to dance around my eyes or the way that I sometimes accidentally snort when I get laughing really hard. Maybe you’d notice that I hold my pen in a weird way or have a tendency to drift off into long moments of silence.
These truths are perhaps pieces that are missed online, when my typed words and edited videos are what are presented to the world. To you.
If there was no camera… no action…
I would still garden just the same as I do now.
I would iron my hand towels, spritz my sheets with linen spray, homeschool my kids, and listen to jazz music while preparing supper. I’d dress the same, do my hair the same, spend five minutes putting on my makeup each morning, and appreciate hummingbirds and bumblebees with just as much enthusiasm. I would still situate and curate my life in a way that celebrates family, time at the table, and homemade bread.
Whether or not granny-chic was even a word people knew, I would still knit scarves in the dead of winter by firelight. I would light beeswax candles, sip tea… and make myself fabulous, simple breakfasts.
I like these pieces of myself. I share these pieces with the world, but they are mine to hold. These pieces of me are true — not because they’re curated for the world, but because they’re woven into my story and habits and heart.
So here’s what I made for lunch today. For real life. I made a whole-wheat bread over the weekend and was reminded of the goodness of dark, hearty slices. It served as a welcome home gift for our oldest daughter, who requested it after two weeks away at music camp. The egg is from one of our chickens, and the tomato is from the small garden I grew this year — seasonal delights to be enjoyed in all their glory.
Here’s what I eat to share with the world — and what I prepare to eat for me.
Egg and Toast with Garden Tomato
Ingredients:
2 tablespoons olive oil
Slice of bread, preferably homemade
1 egg
2 tablespoons cream cheese
Salt & pepper
Fresh herbs
1 small garden tomato, sliced
Instructions:
Heat the olive oil in a skillet. Add the slice of bread and toast it until golden. Remove the toast a plate.
Fry the egg to your liking in the same pan.
Smear the cream cheese over the top of the toast, and sprinkle with salt and pepper.
Add the egg on top, along with the fresh herbs and garden tomato.
Today, it felt like a little hug for my heart — alongside a cup of tea and a long sit in the sunshine, feeling messy and real-life gratitude for messy and real-life me.
